Kollywood-Magic Masala
Friday, July 3, 2009
Standard Tamil 'masala' movie setting:
Hero meets Heroine when he is visiting the city to check on his sister who had recently got married,falls in love with her at first sight and teleports to Switzerland along with the heroine where he participates in a song and dance ritual and then teleports back to Tamilnadu and beats up a bunch of goons who subject the heroine to very poor jokes replete with innuendos after which the heroine falls in love with the hero and the villain happens to see the heroine at a traffic intersection and starts lusting after her and sends goon after goon to abduct the heroine who keep getting beaten up by the hero who also takes breaks in between to sing duets with the heroine and to engage in a dance sequence at a local bar where a buxom lady with an abundant torso dresses up in ribbons and sings suggestive songs which have loud,percussion beats in the background.The villain finally manages to abduct the heroine and keep her tied up and gagged in a godown which the hero manages to infiltrate and finally face the villain in a fisticuff.
The outcome of this confrontation shall generally decide the climax of the movie.Lets try out different 'climaxes' in the above situation.
1.'Departed' ending:
Hero takes a gun and points it at the villain who is barely conscious.The villain's lead goon manages to get up from the trashing that the hero gave him and after seeing the mortal peril in which his boss is,takes his own gun and shoots the hero who just manages to shoot the villain,who also shoots from his gun but the bullet gets richoted and hits his lead goon and all three of them die.End-Credit sequence:Heroine marrying the police officer who unties and ungags her.
2.'Star Wars' ending:
Hero manages to trash the villain up and is about to killhim when the villain announces :"Iam your father" when a slowed down version of the movie's theme music plays in the background.Hero manages to kill the villain albeit with tears in his eyes.End-Credit sequence:Heroine hugging the hero who just cant seems to stop the efflux of tears from his eyes.The heroine remains unaware of this,of course.
3.'Octopussy' ending:
The heroine is revealed to be the real antagonist while the villain is simply a hapless victim of her manipulations.It is revealed that the heroine's sister had commited suicide ten years prior to the movie's setting after the hero had engaged in acts of voyeurism when she was bathing and ever since then,the heroine had only wanted to wreak vengeance on the hero.The hero manages to placate her rage after delivering a long monologue about how it was not him but his friend who had played peeping Tom, after which the heroine begins to feel remorse and apologizes to the hero but before he can reply,pieces of the ceiling fall on her and she dies.The villain disappears wihtout explanation by now.End-credit sequence:A yellow blurb on the screen appears,explaining the 'precariousness of love' with a voice over by the director,whose throat could well use a heavy dose of throat lozenges.
4.'Beauty and the beast' ending:
The hero manages to bash the villain up and is about to deliver a fnal blow when the heroine who has managed to ungag herself screams "No!" and then reveals that she is in love with the villain.The hero remains stolid while the villain breaks down.End-credit sequence:The heroine and the villain move towards the sunset while the hero settles own with the heroine's younger sister.
5.'Batman' ending:
The villain kills the heroine and laughs maniacally while the hero beats him up to a pulp after which the police arrive and take the villain into custody.Thr hero swears upon the heroine's funeral pyre that he shall avenge her death by protecting other innocent women and is next shown stalking a very devious looking character.End-credit sequence:Yellow blurb with 'thodrum'(Meaning 'to be continued') appears.
6.'Looney Tunes' ending:
The hero beats the villain into submission,rescues the heroine and marries her.The main comedian who also is the hero's best friendlooks into the camera,breaks the fourth wall and says the last line of the movie.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 11:57 AM 2 comments
Nursery rhymes:Tarnishing innocence?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
It always takes a change of perspective in observing something to cause a paradigm shift and the observer may not really look at the issue/object being observed as he did before.As examples,i would like to showcase a few nursery rhymes and subject them to a slightly different kind of scrutiny than they are normally subjected to:
1. One,Two,
Buckle my shoe;
Three,four,
Shut the door;
Five,Six,
Pick up sticks;
Seven,Eight,
Lay them Straight;
Nine,Ten,
A big Fat Hen
This particular rhyme seems to resemble a set of instructions instructing the reader to dress up,close the door and engage in sexual activity,the eighth line-'Lay them straight' open to two different interpretations-1.Imagery of the erection of a phallus and 2.Engaging in intercourse,with 'Lay' being a common colloquially used argot for the same.The tenth line-a big fat hen can be interpreted as conjuring up the 'image' of a pregnant female.
2. Ding,dong bell;
Pussy's in the well;
Who put her in?
Little Tommy thin;
Who pulled her out?
Little Tommy Stout;
The above lines from a very popular nursery rhyme seems to put forth imagery of penile erection(Little Tommy Thin and Little Tommy Stout being possible euphemisms for a Phallus before and after erection).Also,the line Pussy's in the well can be understood to mean what is known more popularly as a 'Wet Pussy'.
With the targeted audience consisting of young children from the ages of 3 to 6 possessing a very receptive and adaptable psyche,perhaps we should start advocating the use of other,more ingenuously structured works of literature in place of 'Nursery Rhymes' like the above mentioned for the purpose of education of the same.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 2:28 AM 1 comments
Coitus in Comics:The problems.
Friday, June 19, 2009
The majority of the comic book characters being either of extra-terrestrial origin(eg.Superman,The Martian Manhunter,Captain Mar-vell) or belonging to a non-'human' species(The X-men),one wonders what is the mechanism by which these characters seem to fall in love and/or engage in sexual intercourse with other 'normal' characters,considering the fact that if they are of a different species than normal homo sapiens,the physiology of these characters must be considerably different.The accepted mechanism of sexual attraction between two members of the same species stresses on the vamero-nasal organ in the nose and on pheromones ejected by the two organisms in question.And generally,the attraction is endogamic for a species and does not affect members of other species.And so,under normal circumstances,sexual attraction shouldn't occur between the above mentioned characters and their human peers,especially the characters with the extra-terrestrial origin such as Superman for assuming the development of the kryptonian humanoid species to be as advanced as stated in the comic books,he must be highly evolved as compared with his human companions such as Lois Lane or Lana Lang.Another problem would be his strength and speed which will obviously be too great for a normal human female to handle.Also,considering that Krypto,Superman's canine companion from Krypton posesses human-level cognisance and intelligence,one wouldn't be wrong in assuming that humans are as evolved to kryptonians as dogs are to us(Assuming that the Kryptonians are themselves descendants of a terrestrial human like species,which will be highly unlikely too) and hence,any sexual activity between Kal-el(Superman) and Lois or any other human for that matter amounts to bestiality.
Even the X-men,though of a terrestrial origin ,are still an advanced species as compared to humans but the possibility of mutual sexual attraction between the mutants(homo superior) and baseline humans(homo sapiens) is still plausible as inter-species breeding has been observed(mostly in captivity) between verisimilar members of the same biological family such as between dogs and wolves and lions and tigers.But,in the case of mutants possessing profound physical manifestations of their mutations(eg.Beak of the X-men) which would also include changes to their gonads,this will not be the case.
Maybe,comic book characters and their romances are to remind us that love is all transcending and can unite even wholly different species.And considering the many alien abduction claimants in which the subject has claimed to have had sexual intercourse with one of his/her captors,one wonders whether this holds a key to superman's problems.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 6:41 AM 0 comments
Dentistry on infinite earths!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I was at the dentist's place getting a root canal procedure done on a tooth and comic book and cartoons fanatic that iam,i was wondering then,how different chracters would react ,when they are at the dentist's.
Everyone's favourite Wolverine/James Howlett/Logan wouldn't have a need to visit the dentist,thanks to his healing factor which will naturally ensure that a cavity never forms on his teeth as his healing factor will make sure that eroded parts,if any,automatically grow back.Also,his jaw bones being laced with Admntium will make impossible any attempted tooth extraction.
The Man of steel himself,Superman's dentist would have to be superstrong himself and also have a pair of the most efficient and strongest forceps.Also,i wonder,how would a dentist drill old Clark's teeth?Hmm,How about a Kryptonite drillbit?
Batman probably has a 'anti-dental problem spray' in his utility belt.
Shadowcat/Kitty Pryde of Xcalibur&X-men can simply phase the problematic tooth away.Her teammate nightcrawler can also do something similar-teleport without the tooth.
Johny Storm of the fantastic four can turn into his torch form and this shall burn any microbe that might be present.And he only needs to this a certain number of times a day to ensure oral hygiene and doesnt even need to brush or floss!(Not a great role-model for kids though.)
The only people who would have real problems with their teeth are the many non-superpowered ones or the ones who are still fundamentally human as fas ar their physiology is concerned-blue beetle,spiderman,Professor X,Green arrow,Vgilante etc.But even they wouldn't really have a problem thanks to the many 'alternate' treatments available in their respective worlds.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 8:46 AM 0 comments
Point of growing up?
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
We,as children were capable of a lot of things and more importantly,have the right kind of attitude and self-inspiration to set out and try and do something.But when we grew up,things keep changing and we ended up in the great rat race,in a void from which we cannot hope to exit.Things excited us,when we were kids.There were no labels for preferences and certainly no hidden worries about the viability of things.And we were truly happy as children and when we laughed,we meant it and our dreams almost always were about joyous things.Small things such as going out to eat,stroking a dog etc was all that was required to make us happy and every kind of worry could be whisked away in a matter of few minutes.
For some reason,when we grow up,we change from what we were as kids and the change is almost certainly not for the better.Things do not excite us anymore like they used to and our quest for understanding and learning dulls.
I,as a kid was genuinely interested in learning about new things.Science used to fascinate me and i had tastes of genuine happiness.There wasn't a need to conform and i was satisfied with what i was.Now,when i look back at my 20 years of life,i find that i haven't been living in the true sense of the word after i turned 13.Nothing seems to fascinate me anymore.I haven't truly laughed for 7 years and nor have i been clear in my head.
I am inspired to seek that shall get me up again.I wish to be truly happy and for that,i quest to find the child in me again so that i can live again.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 9:45 PM 0 comments
Rant
Monday, May 4, 2009
After seeing Manga's(http://www.blogger.com/profile/03735709445125770341) post on his new blog(http://aero-janus.blogspot.com/) about a certain member of the faculty,iam inspired to write a post on another so-called teacher in the department of mechanical engineering,SASTRA.And unlike Manga,I will not be using any pseudoidentity for this particular person who iam writing on(This being a personal blog,i have the right to rant).
The Person i wish to talk about is Mr.Barathiraja,the lecturer who had been handling the metrology labarotory practical course for my class.Mr.Barathiraja is a self-proclaimed redeemer of men and one with an alleged power to discern the right person from the wrong and redeem him.As a case in point,i would like to point out the practical exam for metrology for which he was my examiner.After using his nigh-mystical powers on me,he discerned that i was one of the spawn of hell and that iam beyond redemption and to exhibit his all-powerfulness,his highness used his 'gift' to redeem one of the other guys who had a known history of recklessness.And how did our holy saint of SASTRA discern the change of heart in the lost sheep ? By ensuring that he shaved.And then he looked at me with his 'oh-so-saintly eyes' and said unto me,"He shaved,thus he becometh one of the lord's;Thou art beyond redemption,oh beast from hell".
Mr.Barathiraja also exhibited extreme intelligence and pattern-observing skills when he told me the following after i landed up with one of the more irritating exercises in the exam(We had to throw lots): "Of the previous batches,only those who I had obsered to be fraudulent had landed up with the experiment and since you have got the same question,you must be a quack too".Such logic would put even Descartes to shame.And the more irritating thing about the whole thing is the sidekick lab-assistant whose reaon for existence on earth is to simply nod for all that Mr.Barathiraja says.The two of them are probably gay or maybe they are 'Fartman and ribbon' in their secret identities.Mr.Barathiraja,if you are reading this,all i wish to say is that you are a Motherfucking,hollowheaded bastard and Mr.Lab assistant,you are a ass-licking sycophant .
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 10:15 AM 1 comments
Tempus Fugit
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Time is one of the lesser understood things about the universe and there have been many interpretations and attempts to explain time,scientifically and otherwise.Many great works of art and literature have attempted to personify time in different ways.According to me,the ideal way to represent time will be a shapeless mass with wings-Time simply flies at times(pun intended,if you consider the previous statement to be one).I guess that this is yet another post about reminiscences about the past and expectations for the future and i,for all,only seem to be posting about this particular topic.Anyway,there seems to be a sudden break in my train of thought so i shall continue with the topic later,hopefully.
Posted bySrrikkssss.... at 7:28 AM 0 comments
